ficpost, Lost
Sep. 4th, 2006 12:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mari4212So evidently the creative portion of my brain came back last night and this popped out.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Title: Lost
Timeline: Takes place during the episode Rose
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is from Doctor Who and belongs to RTD and the BBC, not me. I just like playing with the characters.
Summary: He knew he was lost the moment he truly held her hand...
The first time he truly held her hand, he was lost.
Oh, he’d grabbed her before, pulled her after him to get her away from the shop dummies. But that didn’t count. He’d have done it for anyone in that situation.
No, it was later, when she’d followed him out of her apartment demanding answers that he truly held her hand. As he tried to put into frail human words and experiences a mere fraction of what he was.
She hadn’t understood, but he’d expected that. No human was actually capable of understanding what it was to be a Time Lord. Their minds couldn’t cope with the sheer immensity of it, they’d go mad.
But she had listened. And that look in her eyes, it wasn’t the blank disbelief he’d half-expected from her. Nor was it the look of someone who was desperately rationalizing his explanation away rather than accept that there was something beyond her human comprehension.
If he’d had to name the look in her eyes, he might have said it was awe. Or perhaps compassion. And either emotion was too painful to accept, too raw against his exposed wounds. He didn’t deserve it, and he couldn’t let a silly human girl break through and see all that he was now. Earlier, before…. Before Gallifrey and the Time War, she’d have been a good companion. Brave and strong-willed like Sarah Jane or Ace. But now? Now that he’d fought and killed and destroyed his own people? He wasn’t fit company for anyone.
He broke away, told her to forget him, knowing that there was no chance of that happening. He’d bound them together with his answer.
Even as he fled to the TARDIS, he knew he’d see her again. And he knew himself lost that he didn’t want to let her go.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Title: Lost
Timeline: Takes place during the episode Rose
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is from Doctor Who and belongs to RTD and the BBC, not me. I just like playing with the characters.
Summary: He knew he was lost the moment he truly held her hand...
The first time he truly held her hand, he was lost.
Oh, he’d grabbed her before, pulled her after him to get her away from the shop dummies. But that didn’t count. He’d have done it for anyone in that situation.
No, it was later, when she’d followed him out of her apartment demanding answers that he truly held her hand. As he tried to put into frail human words and experiences a mere fraction of what he was.
She hadn’t understood, but he’d expected that. No human was actually capable of understanding what it was to be a Time Lord. Their minds couldn’t cope with the sheer immensity of it, they’d go mad.
But she had listened. And that look in her eyes, it wasn’t the blank disbelief he’d half-expected from her. Nor was it the look of someone who was desperately rationalizing his explanation away rather than accept that there was something beyond her human comprehension.
If he’d had to name the look in her eyes, he might have said it was awe. Or perhaps compassion. And either emotion was too painful to accept, too raw against his exposed wounds. He didn’t deserve it, and he couldn’t let a silly human girl break through and see all that he was now. Earlier, before…. Before Gallifrey and the Time War, she’d have been a good companion. Brave and strong-willed like Sarah Jane or Ace. But now? Now that he’d fought and killed and destroyed his own people? He wasn’t fit company for anyone.
He broke away, told her to forget him, knowing that there was no chance of that happening. He’d bound them together with his answer.
Even as he fled to the TARDIS, he knew he’d see her again. And he knew himself lost that he didn’t want to let her go.