ficpost: Five Times Dean Winchester Really Missed his Mom

[mari4212]

Title: Five Times Dean Really Missed his Mom
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: gen
Rating: PG/PG-13
Summary: You read the title? Not that much more to say about it.
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all recognizable characters belong to Kripke, not me.
Author's Notes: Thanks to arielchan for the quick beta. This is for celtic_sky, who asked me nicely for it.

1.
Sammy was sick.

Not in that “gonna sleep for a week” kinda sick that he usually pulled. Not even the kind of sick where he threw up and whined about it for three days running. Those Dean knew how to handle.

No, this time Sammy was lying there limply, shivering with a temperature that scared Dean more than anything Dad had hunted in the past six years. And Dad was gone again, leaving Dean alone with a little brother who just kept getting weaker. And he wanted his mom so badly, wanted her to come and make Sam stop hurting.

2.
He didn’t want anyone making a big deal about it, though try telling that to Sammy.

He’d worn the stupid robe that Dad had bought cheap from the local Goodwill, worn the stupid little hat that he knew had been designed to make every last one of the seniors look like idiots. He sat through the school’s band wheezing its way through Pomp and Circumstance and briefly contemplated putting the continually off-key flutist out of his misery.

But when he got up onto that stage and shook the principal’s hand, he really wished his mom could have seen it happen.

3.

Gary, Indiana, and another fucking argument.

Sam and Dad kept cycling through it, Sam wanting freedom and release, Dad demanding loyalty and obedience. Dean stuck in the middle listening to his family ripping itself to shreds around him with no way of stopping it.

Dad was the one to bring her up this time, wielding her death as the call to battle. And Dean had finally had enough of the fighting, and stormed out of the room. Sometimes it seemed like the only reason either of them cared about her was when they could use her as an argument.

Damnit.

4.

He and Dad had split up on this one, “It’s a poltergeist, Dean, you could handle that in your sleep.”

Yeah, well, this poltergeist had packed more of a punch than normal, and he hurt. A lot, actually, and he was fairly sure that A) his leg shouldn’t have that extra bend in it, and B) the crunch his ribs had made when he’d hit the wall meant that some of them were broken too.

It was times like these when he wanted to be the kid whose Mom could heal all wounds with a kiss and a bandage again.

5.

Sam didn’t sleep through the night, anymore. He’d doze off for about an hour, then jerk awake or just start screaming. He hated how useless he felt, how much he wanted to stop Sam from hurting, how much he couldn’t.

Mom would’ve known what to do. It was just one of the bedrock things Dean knew. Mom would’ve known how to fix Sammy, how to make the nightmares stop and the pain go away. After all, she’d done it for Dean until the day she’d died.

He hated the Demon more for taking that away from Sammy than anything else.

Comments

[ljmckay.livejournal.com]

Okay, I don't even watch Supernatural and I love this. You put a lump in my throat!

Really really great. :D

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks so much. *hugs*

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

Awww...poor Dean. I can't even imagine losing a parent, especially in a way that basically took away his dad too. All he would know was before it was safe and perfect and good, and after it's just not.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my own mother, especially at Dean's age.

And for Dean especially, since the home and the life he lost was so happy and ideal, the contrast would have been so much worse.

[dhark-charlotte.livejournal.com]

Oh Dean! Hugs

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Dean needs lots of hugs.

And perhaps two or three years of therapy.

[happybydefault.livejournal.com]

So wonderful! Dean missing his mommy is heartbreaking and you've captured that so beautifully here. Great job!

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks!

[h-maldeire.livejournal.com]

Right, because John's cool and all but he's not Mary.

Poor Dean is always caught in the middle. He's so quiet and humble about it, and Sam and John can be so dense! Grr. : (

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

No matter how great a dad is, there are some things that are just done better by a mom.

And yeah, poor Dean. Getting stuck between the two people you love is just painful. And Sam and John are just too wrapped up in their own hurts at the time to see how their arguments are hurting him.

[beeverycolor.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous and heartbreaking. I love the idea of Dean missing his mom like any kid who lost her should. Awww. I wanna give him a hug and make it all better, especially the one where he's hurt and all alone. DEAN!

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

And yes, Dean needs many hugs and other comforts.

[subtly-modded.livejournal.com]

oh *heart* this fandom ist the best. seriously. so much love in the angst. these were great.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you! This was my first time writing SPN, I'm glad you liked it, especially the angst.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

*curls up into a little ball and whimpers*

That was simply beautiful, m'dear. Number 3 just hurts and the rest just make me squeak.

Amazing.

And now I must insist you write more Dean! :P

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

*pets you* No crying, don't cry! Here, have a Dean to hug you.

I'm so glad you liked it. Number three was the hardest one for me to write, so I'm glad it met with your approval.

And hey, you know, feel free to give me another five things prompt, or just a fic prompt in general. Dean's slotting into place as a muse alongside Minerva and Obi-Wan.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

*evil laugh* You asked for it! :D

I am feeling very angsty this eve. So, prompt:

He doesn't know when he stopped believing that he could save Sammy.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Huh. You know, the first thing that popped into my mind for that line was that it would work so well as a John fic. Because I'm pretty sure that the day Dean stopped thinking he could save Sam is the day that Dean starts planning out how they can go out with a suicide by monster. And I'm not sure I want to kill off both Dean and Sam my second fic into the fandom.

*wanders off to start plotting*

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

Also, many many thanks for the Dean. *g*

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

ALSO AGAIN. Have I pointed you to spn_gen yet?

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

I'm already on supernaturalfanfic, and when I checked it seemed like there was a lot of overlap between the two. Which might mean that many people friend only one or the other, so I might consider joining there. I've got a nice trickle over here so far just from the first comm, though.

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

Poor Dean. *hugs him*

Nicely done.

Favorite lines:

And he wanted his mom so badly, wanted her to come and make Sam stop hurting.

This hurts, because not only is Sam hurting, but Dean’s hurting for Sam, for both of them.

But when he got up onto that stage and shook the principal’s hand, he really wished his mom could have seen it happen.

Yeah … So many moments that Mary missed out on, and it makes me sad for all of the Winchesters.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you liked, this was my first fic for this fandom and I wasn't sure how it would come across.

And yeah, poor Dean, if Sammy's hurting, he's hurting.

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the fandom. :) SPN is a very fun show to write for, such yummy characters and angst to work with.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I'm fast discovering that. *grins* It makes it so much easier to play with.

[vonilicious.livejournal.com]

Now that is something special. <3

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Well thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[lark_ascends]

Here on the rec by celtic_sky. That was heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Um, you're welcome? I'm glad you enjoyed it.

*offers duct tape to put your heart back together*