(no subject)

[mari4212]

Things you should not do when you are the head of house to a group of sex-obsessed pervs who delight in making you blush.

1. Blush on cue. Unfortunately, that's genetic. I blush easily and often whenever I'm embarrassed.

2. Say something without examining every possible interpretation of every word. Due to my not heeding this particular piece of advice, references to snitches and sitting now make me blush.

3. Eat something with phallic symbolism. ...Look, it was a popsickle, the Gryffindors had brought them in as their treat for the meeting, I just wanted to eat. Next thing I know, several members of my house are complimenting me on my excellent technique, wink wink, nudge nudge.

Things you should not let anyone around you know, period.

1. Exactly how ticklish you are. Enough said.

Comments

[sirutka.livejournal.com]

Hehe, poor lass. That and it's fun to see if one can get your face to match the color of your hair. No offense of course. As for watching what you say, be careful, a properly dirty mind can turn almost *anything* into something naughty, look at Shakespeare.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I've been feeding them several straight lines that they didn't have to work hard at to make dirty.

And yes, I think it's a game for them to see how many different shades of red they can get me at any one meeting.

[vaudy.livejournal.com]

Hard-learned lessons, all. Now, if only you weren't younger than me, so I wouldn't have had to learn them the hard way, myself. Blushing on cue is a bad, bad thing. My former boss (my boss!) when I was a cashier would bring customers up to the counter for em to ring up and say, "now watch this girl blush!"

sirutka is correct, however; if perverted enough, a person can turn anything around into something sexual. I have a friend who was very good at that. (This friend also knows each and every one of my most ticklish spots. His oldest son, at the age of four, was able to render me completely helpless by tickling.)

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

I blame my siblings, they got me to the point where every single portion of my body is ticklish.

Tilting at windmills

[elvisvf101.livejournal.com]

Oh dearheart, it's hopeless.

1. Yeah, you're screwed.

2. It got to the point in college where all one of us had to do in response to ANYTHING said by a member of the opposite sex was arch an eyebrow and say "Reeeeeeeallly." We didn't even have to have anything in particular in mind. It got so bad that THEY THEMSELVES would find a bad interpretation.

3. You think this phenomenon is limited to popsicles?

1a. Yeah, refer to #1.

Re: Tilting at windmills

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

1. Yeah, pretty much figured that.

2. They don't wait for me to figure it out, they just burst out laughing and tell the rest of the club that I just said something dirty. Given my rep, that's normally enough to make everyone in the club join in on the laughter.

3. I have no doubt it goes for far more than popsicles. That's what I was eating at the time, though.

Re: Tilting at windmills

[glacierscout.livejournal.com]

bananas, hot dogs, sausage, ice cream cones and bars - anything with a much larger length than width or thickness is fair game.

Corn on the cob is the exception, since it is eaten from the side. That might work for the other, more dangerous foods as well.

[jediravenclaw.livejournal.com]

rofl....yeah, I agree with others here. It's totally hopeless.


And being one of those that has a dirty mind myself, I can tell you that nothing you ever say is "safe"...anything can be perverted. ANYTHING. Teddy Bears. Computers even.

My reasoning - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! I think I turned out ok! >.> ... <.< ... yeeeaaaaahhhhhhh ^.^

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

Lierin, band camp, stage crew, and my siblings combined didn't manage to give me a dirty mind. My 'Puffs are giving it their all, but they aren't doing much better. My mind just does not naturally go into the gutter.