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[mari4212]

This post was actually inspired from something that aelora posted in her latest Fembot article. She had listed her opinions on the ten most attractive women in sci-fi. Reading the comments, many guys seemed to disagree.

So I started wondering, what do I find most attractive in my own gender? What makes a woman beautiful to me? Not in a sexual way, but just as in, I see that woman as beautiful.

To me, the one defining trait I kept coming back to was grace, both phyisical and emotional. Physical, as in the woman in question is comfortable with the space she occupies, is comfortable with the way she moves, and moves well within her environment. Emotionally, I see grace as being able to accept what happens, deal with it, and move on appropriately. A woman can be very graceful emotionally when she's crying, because she is dealing with that emotion properly for her. If you watch Atlantis at all, you can see both examples of grace in action. Teyla is very physically graceful, and also has some emotional grace in her. I find her character to be very beautiful. And Elizabeth Weir has a lot of emotional grace, more so than almost any other character I can think of on tv. Again, I consider her as a character beautiful.

So my question to you, my flist, is what do you find beautiful in your own gender? Or for those of you who are attracted to either gender and want to consider it that way, what do you find beautiful in the gender you are least sexually attracted to in general. My focus here is on the platonic side of things.

Comments

[ljmckay.livejournal.com]

Really interesting question!

I think physically, I'd go with eyes. I'm not sure about the whole window-to-the-soul thing (after all, "eyes can lie") but I tend to believe you can tell a lot about a person by their eyes. Plus, eyes are usually the one feature people are comfortable with about themselves (at least, I think so). That may be part of it, too; I'm fondest of my eyes, so I tend to look for it in others.

Emotionally/Mentally, I think maybe perspective? I'm not sure that's the right word. The opposite of whatever makes some girls go completely insane over a boy (who will more than likely be either forgotten or the cause for a flood of tears tomorrow), dump a long-time friend over a misunderstanding, and think that Saturday's shoe sale is the only thing worth living for. Anyone who can avoid the drama and angst of high school is tops in my book. (Rebellion for the sake of rebellion, though, is not.)

I'm not sure I really answered the question, but you got me thinking! Thanks.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

No, I think that was a very good answer. Interesting, too. What people find beautiful in others tends to reflect a lot of their personality.

I think perspective is a very good term for what you're talking about. Another might be balance, being able to tell what's worth it or not.

I got lucky in high school, the people I hung out with all avoided drama as much as possible.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

I think what you said is what elevates (or, more, shifts; beautiful in some ways is not necessarily better than my definition of gorgeous)a person to beautiful is their grace. The actresses on Atlantis are, obviously very pretty, but when I seem them on the behind the scenes specials and such, I'm more inclined to describe them as cute or gorgeous.

Beautiful, to me, refers to people with grace - with an almost ethereal elegance. Physical, yes, but even more so with their behaviour and emotions and how they treat and react to people.

It sort of shows how a word can make all the difference to me. Hot is a person who, while good-looking, exudes a strength and determination. Gorgeous is a person who is warm and funny, and a joy to be around - although sometimes it's just a stronger form of pretty. Pretty is a word that I use to refer just to the physical looks and I hate using it because it feels so plain and weak. And beauty is grace.

It's quite probable that that's why I don't consider myself beautiful - I don't have that grace, that elegance. And I think that it's actually quite a rare trait to come across.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

It's fascinating to see how you define all of those words, because you're right, they all imply different things.

I don't know many people who do think of themselves as beautiful. I normally think of myself as relatively pretty when I think of appearances. But grace is rare to find, and I do think that it's what makes that separation occur.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

I don't know many people who do think of themselves as beautiful.

Yeah, I don't think many do. Which is probably a good thing, because to think of yourself is beautiful, almost negates the whole thing. To me, anyway.

But grace is rare to find, and I do think that it's what makes that separation occur.

It is. It's what fascinates about dancers, and yoga, and some of the some martial arts (and I do love the stick-fighting on Atlantis) - it's the grace they show when doing it.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

That's one of the things that I loved about dancing. It did at least teach me how to move well. Of course, the main reason I loved it so much was because it was so much fun, and so freeing to express yourself like that. When the music goes just right, and everything works, you fly.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

What kind of dance did you do?

Of course, the main reason I loved it so much was because it was so much fun, and so freeing to express yourself like that. When the music goes just right, and everything works, you fly.

*happy sigh* It sounds wonderful.

I loved to dance when I was younger, just around the house. When choosing subjects for high school, I contemplated Dance but decided on Drama instead. I'm glad I did, because I loved Drama (and the freedom of the expression, like dance) but sometimes I wonder what it would've been like had I done dance instead...

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

I took Ballet for years, and then I switched to liturgical dance with a group from my church. Now that that group has disbanded, I typically get called in by my church whenever they want to add in dance to the service.

Well, if your college requires you to do some sort of physical education/gym type class, you could try taking a dance course and see if you like it.

[heylittleriver.livejournal.com]

Wow. Ballet. That is a form that is just stunning and impressive.

Well, if your college requires you to do some sort of physical education/gym type class, you could try taking a dance course and see if you like it.

Nope, none of that. I'll just have to see if I can nag someone into going to a beginner's class with me.

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about grace, I think. It's something that can be present in either gender, and can make someone who is otherwise not particularly attractive in the "conventional" sense stand out to me.

I am thinking of a woman I know from my local SCA group, who used to be the landed Baroness of our group. She's in her mid-50s, has long grey hair, and is fairly overweight - if you saw Beth in her day-to-day life, she's nothing special looks-wise. But Baroness Daedra is another matter entirely. Put her in garb and coronet and she so very much looks the part - she carries herself with it, too, and she has this absolutely beautiful musical-sounding speaking voice that she occasionally throws a funny accent (usually "fake Swedish") over the top of.

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

You do SCA? *geeks out for a moment in glee*

Grace and dignity do a lot to transcend looks, and I think the example you gave demonstrates that admirably.

[keptclose.livejournal.com]

I don't really know. I'd think that the only real difference between what I find beautiful in a woman and what your typical guy finds beautiful in a woman is that I don't care at all about the size of a woman's breasts or ass or anything. That's not to say all guys think that way, but you know some do. =) But I don't often compare opinions about beautiful women with guys outside my brother, so....

[toniabarone.livejournal.com]

*tilts head thoughtfully* I'm trying to think of deep answers to these. I really am. That said...

Women: Hair. Most women take such time on their hair and make it do amazing things. This is probably cause I can't do a thing with mine other than put it in a ponytail. The...flexibility and slender build of a gymnast. Slender wrists that move with fluid grace.

Men: Solid build. Strength. Not physical strength, but a strong pressance. The sense that this man can protect you, whether physically or mentally, if need be. He can care for you and wrap you up.

In both: Eyes. Eyes are so expressive. Brains. Smart people are...wow. They can do anything and that's just the best reassurance ever.

What I don't like...

Women: Shallowness. I hate it in both, but women take it to a whole new level. Too much make-up and worry about appearances. Cosmetic surgery for the sake of beauty, not physical comfort. the anorexic look that most seem to see as "beautiful". They look like famine victems and that isn't right.

Men: Extreme muscles, like muscle builders have. No one is meant to be built like that and, quite frankly, I find it ugly. Overly domineering, believing a woman's place is the kitchen and that they listen to the man in all things, no questions asked. The shallowness in men that causes them to look at model-types before anyone else. Even a hundred years ago this wouldn't have been the case.

In both: Greed. Prejudices of any sort. Believing that they're better than everyone else because they have something no one else does, whether it be beauty, money or power.

*shrugs* I like both genders so...answer yer question?

[mari4212.livejournal.com]

It does answer my question, and these are interesting answers.